| Artery | The study of paintings |
| Bacteria | Back door to cafeteria |
| Barium | What doctors do when patients die |
| Benign | What you be after you be eight |
| Cesarean | Section A neighborhood in Rome |
| CAT scan | Searching for kitty |
| Cauterize | Made eye contact with her |
| Colic | A sheep dog |
| Coma | A punctuation mark |
| D & C | Where Washington is |
| Dilate | Live a long life |
| Enema | Not a friend |
| Fester | Quicker than someone else |
| Fibula | A small lie |
| Genital | Non-Jewish person |
| G.I. Series | World Series of military baseball |
| Hangnail | What you hang your coat on |
| Impotent | Distinguished, well known |
| Labor Pain | Getting hurt at work |
| Medical Staff | A doctor's cane |
| Morbid | A higher offer than I bid |
| Nitrates | Cheaper than day rates |
| Node | I knew that |
| Outpatient | A person who has fainted |
| Pap Smear | A fatherhood test |
| Pelvis | Second cousin to Elvis |
| Post Operative | A letter carrier |
| Recovery Room | Place to do upholstery |
| Rectum | Darn near killed him |
| Secretion | Hiding something |
| Seizure | Roman emperor |
| Tablet | A small table |
| Terminal Illness | Getting sick at the airport |
| Tumor | More than one |
| Urine | Opposite of you're out |
| Varicose | Very close by |