Three mature ladies were discussing the travails of getting older. One said, "Sometimes I catch myself with a jar of mayonnaise in my hand in front of the refrigerator and can't remember whether I need to put it away or start making a sandwich."

The second chimed in, "Yes, sometimes I find myself on the landing of the stairs and can't remember whether I'm on my way up or on my way down."

The third responded, "Well, I'm glad I don't have that problem," she said, rapping her knuckles on the table, "knock on wood." -- "Oh, that must be the door," she continued. "I'll get it!"

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We're not all over 50, but if you live long enough you may want to join the choir and sing along:

• Precious Lord, Take My Hand, And Help Me Up
• It is Well with My Soul, But My Knees Hurt
• Nobody Knows the Trouble I Have Seeing
• Just a Slower Walk with Thee
• Count Your Many Birthdays, Name Them One by One
• Go Tell It on the Mountain, But Speak Up
• Give Me the Old Timers' Religion
• Blessed Insurance
• Guide Me O Thou Great Jehovah, I've Forgotten Where I Parked